The fear of failure

The fear of failure
I'm sure you've heard it said the best way to conquer your fears is to face them, it sounds easy but isn't always in practice. One thing you can do to lesson the effects of failure is to reframe the experience as a learning experience. Don't look at the experience as a failure, there are no such things as failures, only results. If you didn't find the result you wanted, it doesn't matter just learn from the experience and move on. You will make better decisions in the future because of this result. Change your approach and move onto greater success.
Top ten parenting mistakes
Here are the top 10 parenting mistakes according to the impact they have on the child:
• 1- Comparing children to each other: Parents who do the mistake of always comparing their children to each other always raise children who are jealous of each other (see Siblings rivalry). The impact of this mistake doesn't stop at jealousy but it might also result in the loss of self confidence of one of the children (the under performer)
• 2- Over protection & pampering : Children who don't learn how to solve life problems end up feeling inferior. Parents who do the big mistake of over protecting their children prevent them from developing their skills and solving their life problems and thus they grow up feeling worthless. Over protection is one of the worst parenting mistakes a parent can make
• 3- Neglecting the child: Distant parents who neglect their child's needs usually raise children who lack social interest. A child who lacks social interest might try to achieve his goals with disregard to the welfare of others (for example by committing crimes). This is also one of the worst mistakes a parent could make
• 4-Disrespect : One of the biggest mistakes parents make with their children is disrespecting them in front of others. The child usually feels ashamed being disrespected and he might develop aninferiority complex
• 5- Fighting violently in front of their children: One of the biggest mistakes people make with their children is fighting in front of them. A research found that bullies are usually raised in homes that has that kind of violence. In addition, this parenting mistake might also make the child believe that violence is the only way to get what he wants in life (see Why some children become bullies)
• 6- Giving more attention to the youngest child: Some parents might believe that this is not a big mistake while in fact its a catastrophic one. When one of the children gets more attention than his siblings (usually the youngest) the others grow up feeling dethroned, worthless and sometimes inferior (see Birh order and personality)
• 7- He is just a child: If you lie to your child he will learn how to not trust others. If you scold him in front of others he will think that he is worthless while if you said that he is just a child he will doubt his own importance even when he grows up. In the Solid Self confidence program i said that treating your child as if he is a child is one of the biggest parenting mistakes because it results in loss of self confidence
• 8- Losing control in front of the child: Children learn through their five senses. If you lost control in front of your child by being anxious, afraid or worried then your child will learn how to do these things when he grows up. One of the biggest mistakes you can make with your children is to act emotionally without being in control of yourself in front of them
• 9- Authoritarian parenting: Authoritarian parenting (where strict rules are set without room for democracy) is one of the biggest mistakes a parent can do. Children who have Authoritarian parents lack self confidence, usually become procrastinators and have self regulation problems. Never be an Authoritarian parent. See ( how parenting styles affect your chilld's personality
Mistake number 10 the most dangerous parenting mistake

Certainly knowing these facts can help you raise healthy children but do you think that one article is enough to educate you about proper parenting? Of course not and that's why parenting mistake number 10 is not educating yourself about your child's psychology.
If you are serious about raising mentally healthy children then read through the links below because each parenting mistake you make might let your child suffer for the rest of his life.
2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

Why am i not lucky
One Greek fable tells the story of a fox that badly wanted to reach a vine of grapes. After the fox tried many times it failed to reach the grapes but instead of feeling bad it tried to convince itself that it didn't need the grapes that badly after all.
So what does this has to do with luck?
The fox tried to deceive itself in order reduce the pain that resulted from not being able to get what it wanted and its the same thing that we humans do.
Instead of admitting that we didn't try hard enough we try to find any excuse to fool ourselves into believing that it wasn't our fault and this is how the luck concept was born.


Why you are not lucky
Sometimes it can hurt our Egos so much to admit that we lack the skills that we need or that we failed to get what we want in life.
Because of that our subconscious minds try to find us any excuse that we can use in order to feel Good about ourselves.
When a person says i am not lucky he actually means that he didn't find other explanation for failing toget what he wants in life other than believing that he has no luck.



Ashramadhramas:
Shakespeare divided life into "seven ages". In Hinduism, human life is believed to comprise four stages. These are called "ashramas" and every man should ideally go through each of these stages:
• The First Ashrama - "Brahmacharya" or the Student Stage
• The Second Ashrama - "Grihastha" or the Householder Stage
• The Third Ashrama - "Vanaprastha" or the Hermit Stage
• The Fourth Ashrama - "Sannyasa" or the Wandering Ascetic Stage
• Brahmacharya - The Celibate Student:
• This is a period of formal education. It lasts until the age of 25, during which, the young male leaves home to stay with a guru and attain both spiritual and practical knowledge. During this period, he is called a brahmachari, and is prepared for his future profession, as well as for his family, and social and religious life ahead.
• Grihastha - The Married Family Man:
• This period begins when a man gets married, and undertakes the responsibility for earning a living and supporting his family. At this stage, Hinduism supports the pursuit of wealth (artha) as a necessity, and indulgence in sexual pleasure (kama), under certain defined social and cosmic norms. This ashrama lasts until around the age of 50. According to the Laws of Manu, when a person's skin wrinkles and his hair greys, he should go out into the forest. However, in real life, most Hindus are so much in love with this second ashrama that the Grihastha stage lasts a lifetime!
• Vanaprastha - The Hermit in Retreat:
• This stage of a man begins when his duty as a householder comes to an end: He has become a grandfather, his children are grown up, and have established lives of their own. At this age, he should renounce all physical, material and sexual pleasures, retire from his social and professional life, leave his home, and go to live in a forest hut, spending his time in prayers. He is allowed to take his wife along, but is supposed to maintain little contact with the family. This kind of life is indeed very harsh and cruel for an aged person. No wonder, this third ashrama is now nearly obsolete.
• Sannyasa - The Wandering Recluse:
• At this stage, a man is supposed to be totally devoted to God. He is a sannyasi, he has no home, no other attachment; he has renounced all desires, fears and hopes, duties and responsibilities. He is virtually merged with God, all his worldly ties are broken, and his sole concern becomes attaining moksha, or release from the circle of birth and death. (Suffice it to say, very few Hindu men can go up to this stage of becoming a complete ascetic.) When he dies, the funeral ceremonies (Pretakarma) are performed by his son and heir.