Bhadrachaam Road- Kothgudem in 1932

District Sports Authority Warangal Sports Infrastructure

Fishing harbor in china

The World suffers a lot.

"The World suffers a lot.
Not Because of the Violence of bad people.
But because of the silence of good people."

Fathers day

May come soon!

Budha Bhagvan

treasures

“I have three treasures. Guard and keep them:
The first is deep love,
The second is frugality,
And the third is not to dare to be ahead of the world.
Because of deep love, one is courageous.
Because of frugality, one is generous.
Because of not daring to be ahead of the world, one becomes the leader of the world.”

What you want to compress 
you must first allow truly expanding. 
What you want to weaken 
you must first allow growing truly strong. 
What you want to destroy 
you must first allow truly to truly flourishing. 
From whomever you want to take away 
to him you must first truly give. 
This is called ‘being clear about the invisible’. 
The soft wins victory over the hard. 
The weak wins victory over the strong. 
One must not take the fish from the deep. 
One must not show the people 
the means of furthering the realm.

Man is a social animal

Man is a social animal:“Man is by nature a social animal; an individual who is unsocial naturally and not accidentally is either beneath our notice or more than human. Society is something that precedes the individual. Anyone who either cannot lead the common life or is so self-sufficient as not to need to, and therefore does not partake of society, is either a beast or a god. ”

traditions&science

Indigenous peoples throughout the world have sustained their unique worldviews and associated knowledge systems for millennia, even while undergoing major social upheavals as a result of transformative forces beyond their control. Many of the core values, beliefs and practices associated with those worldviews have survived and are beginning to be recognized as having an adaptive integrity that is as valid for today's generation as it was for generations past. The depth of indigenous knowledge rooted in the long inhabitation of a particular place offers lessons that can benefit everyone, from educator to scientist, as we search for a more satisfying and sustainable way to live on this planet.

Brief narration about Vedas

The Rig Veda: The Book of Mantra

The Rig Veda is a collection of inspired songs or hymns and is a main source of information on the Rig Vedic civilization. It is the oldest book in any Indo-European language and contains the earliest form of all Sanskrit mantras that date back to 1500 B.C. - 1000 B.C. Some scholars date the Rig Veda as early as 12000 BC - 4000 B.C. The Rig-Vedic ‘samhita’ or collection of mantras consists of 1,017 hymns or ‘suktas’, covering about 10,600 stanzas, divided into eight ‘astakas’ each having eight ‘adhayayas’ or chapters, which are sub-divided into various groups. The hymns are the work of many authors or seers called ‘rishis’. There are seven primary seers identified: Atri, Kanwa,Vashistha, Vishwamitra, Jamadagni, Gotama and Bharadwaja. The rig Veda accounts in detail the social, religious, political and economic background of the Rig-Vedic civilization. Even though monotheism characterizes some of the hymns of Rig Veda, naturalistic polytheism and monism can be discerned in the religion of the hymns of Rig Veda. 

The Sama Veda, Yajur Veda and Atharva Veda were compiled after the age of the Rig Veda and are ascribed to the Vedic period.

The Sama Veda: The Book of Song

The Sama Veda is purely a liturgical collection of melodies (‘saman’). The hymns in the Sama Veda, used as musical notes, were almost completely drawn from the Rig Veda and have no distinctive lessons of their own. Hence, its text is a reduced version of the Rig Veda. As Vedic Scholar David Frawley puts it, if the Rig Veda is the word, Sama Veda is the song or the meaning, if Rig Veda is the knowledge, Sama Veda is its realization, if Rig Veda is the wife, the Sama Veda is her husband

The Yajur Veda: The Book of Ritual

The Yajur Veda is also a liturgical collection and was made to meet the demands of a ceremonial religion. The Yajur Veda practically served as a guidebook for the priests who execute sacrificial acts muttering simultaneously the prose prayers and the sacrificial formulae (‘yajus’). It is similar to ancient Egypt’s “Book of the Dead”. There are no less than six complete recessions of Yajur Veda - Madyandina, Kanva, Taittiriya, Kathaka, Maitrayani and Kapishthala. 

The Atharva Veda: The Book of Spell

The last of the Vedas, this is completely different from the other three Vedas and is next in importance to Rig-Veda with regard to history and sociology. A different spirit pervades this Veda. Its hymns are of a more diverse character than the Rig Veda and are also simpler in language. In fact, many scholars do not consider it part of the Vedas at all. The Atharva Veda consists of spells and charms prevalent at its time, and portrays a clearer picture of the Vedic society. 

8 Ways to Raise a Moral Child

8 Ways to Raise a Moral Child

Raising a moral child means teaching your child to live by the Golden Rule.Before your child can "treat others like you want others to treat you," he has to learn how to empathize, to be able to think through an action before doing it and to judge how the consequences of his action will affect himself and others. Therein lies the basis of a moral person.

1. Raise kids who care

Attachment parenting is your child's first morality lesson. Parents are the child's first morality teachers. Our own observations as well as numerous studies conclude that attachment-parented infants are more likely to become moral children and adults. The one quality that distinguishes these children from kids raised in a detached parenting style is sensitivity. We view sensitivity as the root virtue. Plant it in your child and watch it sprout other virtues, such as self-control, compassion, and honesty. Here's how to grow a sensitive child.

When a child spends the early years with a sensitive caregiver, this infant develops an inner sense of rightness, a sense of well-being. In short, he feels good. Being on the receiving end of this responsive style of caring plants in the infant trust and eventually sensitivity. The child makes these virtues part of himself. They are not something a child has, they are what the child is, sensitive and trusting. He has learned it is good to help and hold a person in need. He has a capacity to care, the ability to feel how another person feels. He will be able to consider how his actions will affect another person.

This inner code of behavior becomes deeply rooted in connected children.As a result, they develop a healthy sense of guilt , feeling appropriately wrong when they act wrong. To a connected kid, a lie is a breach of trust. When he slips, his well-being is disturbed, so he strives to preserve and restore this sense of moral balance. A connected child can truly do the right things for others because others have done the right things for him.

The unconnected kid. The child who grows up with insensitivity becomes insensitive. He has no frame of reference on how to act. Without an inner guidance system, his values are subject to change according to his whims. One difference between kids who care and kids who don't is their ability to feel remorse, to be bothered by how their actions affect others. Criminologists have noticed the most significant trait shared by unconnected kids and psychopathic adults is their inability to feel remorse and empathy, and thus take responsibility for their behavior.

A group of five-year-olds are playing and one of the children falls, scrapes her knee and starts crying. The connected child will offer a reassuring "I'm sorry you're hurt" and show a desire to comfort. The unconnected child may say "cry baby."

2. Make a moral connection

The connected toddler begins her moral development with the two fundamental qualities of sensitivity and trust. These "starter virtues" make it easier for parents to teach a toddler and preschooler the dos and don'ts of life. A morally-connected parent appropriately points out to the child what's right, what's wrong, and what's expected. The child trusts that whatever the parent says is gospel. If Dad says hitting is wrong, it's wrong. If Mom says comforting a hurting child is right, it's right. The parents are the trusted moral authorities.

The first six years is a window of opportunity when a child unquestionably accepts the virtues modeled by parents. Consider what happens when the child receives even one "morality lesson" each day in the early years. For example, Ashley hurts her finger. "Let's help her feel better." Your son takes his friend's ball. "Chris feels sad because you took his favorite ball." Or "How would you feel if Chris took your ball?"

Initially a child believes behaviors are right or wrong because you tell her so, or she considers the consequences. By five years of age your child begins to internalize your values: what's right for you becomes right for her. Your values, virtuous or not, become part of your child.

Between seven and ten the child enters the age of moral reasoning. Now the child begins to act right because it is the right thing to do. By seven years of age, most children have developed their concept of "what's normal." If sensitivity, caring, politeness and empathy have been standard operating procedure in the child's home, those are his norms, and he operates according to them. What his parents take seriously, the child takes seriously. Up to this point, he believes his parents to be infallible, so he enters middle childhood with their values as part of himself.

Along come children with other "norms," who grew up in insensitive, perhaps violent homes, with a distant parent-child relationship. Here is where the morally-connected child shines. Because his moral code is part of himself, the alternative values feel strange to him. They upset his sense of well-being. He becomes morally selective, taking those values which contribute to his well- being and discarding those that don't.

Not so the morally ungrounded child. He is the product of a home where virtues are not discussed or taught and enters middle childhood like a ship without a rudder or anchor. He drifts in a sea of moral uncertainty, prey to whatever influences come along. Because he has no reference system to use as a standard, he adopts others' values or he shifts values according to what's most convenient for solving the problem of the moment. This child drifts into moral relativism : very few things are right or wrong, black or white, but most solutions are shades of gray, and the child takes the path of least resistance or the one that is most popular. This child is at risk because he lacks connection with morally-grounded parents.

3. Model morals

A model is an example to be imitated, for better or worse. In the early years children are totally dependent on their caregivers to show the world to them. Your standards automatically become theirs, because they soak up whatever surrounds them. They make no independent judgments as to the rightness or wrongness of actions. Even if you do something you've taught them is wrong, such as hit someone, they assume you are right in what you did and the person you hit deserved it. If they see and hear it from their parents, it's right, and they store this behavior in their impressionable minds as something worth imitating.

After six or seven years of age the child begins to make judgments about which models are worth emulating and incorporating into his personality and which ones need to be discarded as threatening to his self. This means parents must saturate their children with healthy models in the preschool years, when children are most impressionable, so they can be discerning about models that come along later.

Healthy modeling does not imply perfect parenting , based not on what is right and wrong, but on what is convenient and expedient. Your child will pick up the way of life that she sees you living daily at home. You will inspire your child to follow your example, be it a valuable or a valueless model.

Besides providing healthy models at home, screen outside influences that might leave unhealthy models in your child's mind. These include substitute caregivers, neighbors, preschool teachers, older kids, and television. Once upon a time persons of significance in a child's life came primarily from within the extended family, but in today's mobile society a child is likely to have a wider variety of models. Use these to your advantage and saturate your child's environment with persons of significance who provide healthy examples so that there is little room left for unhealthy messages.

4. Minimize bad impressions

We emphasize models as one of the prime influences on a child behavior. Parents need to realize that negative behaviors viewed on TV (for example, anger and violence) are easier for a child to copy than positive behaviors (say, kindness). A few examples are all that is necessary to make a lasting impression. Positive behaviors are more difficult to imitate because they require maturity and self-control. These examples need to be repeated often to sink in. Parents should not be lulled into a false sense of security because their child has seen only "a few" violent movies. Nevertheless, you can't control everything that goes into your child's mind. To counteract the negative influences that slip in, saturate your child's mind with examples of positive behavior. Also, beware of what we term "instant replay." A child's developing mind is like a giant video library. He stores all he sees for alter retrieval. If the child repeatedly witnesses graphic scenes of violence, this topic gets lots of shelf space in the library of his mind. So, years later when presented with similar circumstances, for example, a rivalry over a girlfriend, the teen or adult instantly replays a similar scene from his video library: He shoots the person who stole his girlfriend. We wonder if the criminals that go berserk (translation: "temporarily insane") and commit a hideous crime are, by reflex, replaying what they were subconsciously programmed to do.

5. Teach your child to think morally

Take advantage of teachable moments , ordinary events of family life that offer opportunities to talk your child through the process of moral reasoning. One day I saw two eight-year-old neighborhood kids perched on a hillside ready to toss water balloons on cars passing by below. I nabbed them before their mischief began and began this dialogue with one of the boys: "Jason, what do you think might happen when the water balloon hits the car?" I asked. "It would splat all over the car," Jason responded."Imagine if you were the driver, what do you think the driver might feel?" I said."I dunno," Jason mumbled."Do you think it might scare him?" I persisted."Yes, I guess so," admitted Jason."He might be so startled that the car goes out of control, he drives up on a sidewalk, and a little child goes splat. Isn't that possible?" I offered."I guess so," he admitted."You would feel pretty bad if that happened, wouldn't you?" I went on."Yes, I sure would," Jason agreed.

You can discuss people on TV in the same way. You notice your ten-year-old watching a questionable TV program. Sit next to her and in a nonthreatening and nonjudgmental way inquire, "Do you think what those people are doing is right?" Encourage discussions about current events: controversial sports figures, newspaper headlines, social issues. Raise your children to express their opinions. Encourage lively family debates. Respect their viewpoints even if you don't agree. Studies show that children who come from families who encourage such open discussion are more likely to think morally mature. A California study of a thousand college students looked at the relationship between the student's level of moral reasoning and how they were parented. Students who scored high on moral reasoning came from families that encouraged open discussion of controversial topics. Other studies have shown that highly-permissive parents who did not expect obedience from their children and gave inappropriate praise produced "me- firsters," children whose only thought was to satisfy themselves. And the other extreme, over-controlling parents produced conformist teenagers who couldn't think for themselves. In these studies, families who gave their children a voice in decisions produced teenagers who were able to reason morally. Getting children to preach to themselves becomes the most lasting morality lesson.

Let your child hear you think through the rightness or wrongness of an action. You and your child are at a store and the cashier gives you too much change back. You notice the error and share it with your child: "Oh, the cashier gave us too much money back." And then you offer a moral commentary as if thinking out loud: "This extra money does not belong to us. It would not be right to keep it. The cashier may be suspended or lose her job for this mistake. I would feel bad if I kept the money..." Your child justifies, "But Dad, everybody does it." You reply, "Does that make it right? What do you believe is the right thing to do? How do you think you would feel if you kept money that didn't belong to you?" Then add, "I feel good doing the right thing and returning the money."

6. Know your child

Know how your child is thinking morally at each stage of development. When situations occur that require a moral decision, involve your child in them. One day our ten-year-old Erin and I were driving by a beggar. Erin said, "Dad, can we stop and give him some money?" Taking her cue, I stopped the car for a teachable opportunity. Testing where she was at morally I suggested, "Maybe he should get a job." Erin answered, "Maybe he can't find one." That told me where she was. We stopped at a nearby store and bought some food for the needy person.

Morals are important to a child because they govern the choices they make. If a child is self-centered, materialistic and lacks empathy, she will often think of her own convenience first and take the path of least resistance. If empathy is ingrained in her, she will make choices that make her a better person to be with and society more caring.

7. Know your child's friends

Parents, know the values of your child's friends because some of these will rub off onto your child. One day we witnessed a case of childhood blackmail. Nine-year-old Matthew was playing with eight-year-old Billy who tried to blackmail Matthew into doing something. He told Matt that he would not invite him to his birthday party if he didn't do it. Matthew, a very sensitive and principled child, was visibly bothered. We used this opportunity to talk to both children. We impressed on Billy that this is not how children should treat each other. We also asked Matt how he felt being on the receiving end of the blackmail. By learning what it felt like to be treated like this, Matt's principles were reinforced. You can always get positive mileage out of negative situations. Real life provides real lessons.

In our zeal to convince our children of the wisdom of moral living, there is a bit of missionary in all of us. Yet the older children get the more they seem to tune out preaching. That's why teachable situations , such as those we mentioned above, leave more lasting lessons than anything you say.

8. Send your child off to school morally literate

Ground your child in your moral values day in and day out, and continue to reinforce these values as long as you have an influence on your child. You want your child to do what's right, not just what's expedient in a given situation. To do this, he must act from inner conviction built up over many years. Values don't stick if they are tacked onto the child at the last minute, like a holiday decoration, or changed like a piece of clothing, according to the fashion of the day.

Once children enter middle childhood (ages six through ten), they are on the receiving end of tremendous peer pressure. If the child does not have her own inner guidance system telling her which choice to make, she will more readily become a victim of peer pressure . Children are searching for principles. If a strong guidance system prevails at home and within children themselves, they are likely to conform to their parents' and their own inner morals. They become leaders among their peers instead of followers, setting their own course, staying on it, and swimming upstream even when the prevailing current is against them.

Teaching your child right from wrong must be done with patience and care. Power or fear morality is not likely to stick because it does not become a willing part of the child's self: "If I catch you stealing again, I'll belt you even harder," yelled a dad who was determined to teach his child right and wrong by the use of fear and force. This child is more likely to spend his energy figuring out how he can avoid getting caught than in moral reasoning about the rightness or wrongness of the act.

One of the goals in raising moral children is to turn out moral citizens. The family is a mini society where a child learns how to live with others and to respect authority. Children who operate with inner controls and not out of fear of punishment make morality a part of themselves. They have a balanced view of authority: they respect authority figures but do not accept others' values unquestioningly. If the laws are not serving the interests of the people, they'll be the ones leading the charge to throw out the lawmakers and elect new ones. Raising kids who care is the first step in maintaining a moral society.

"EACH IS GREAT IN HIS OWN PLACE."

"EACH IS GREAT IN HIS OWN PLACE."

According to the Sankhya philosophy, nature is composed of three forces called, in Sanskrit,Sattva, Rajas and Tamas. These as manifested in the physical world are what we may call equilibrium, activity and inertness. Tamas is typified as darkness or inactivity; Rajas is activity, expressed as attraction or repulsion; and Sattva is the equilibrium of the two.

In every man there are these three forces. Sometimes Tamas prevails; we become lazy; we cannot move; we are inactive, bound down by certain ideas or by mere dullness. At other times activity prevails and at still other times that calm balancing of both. Again, in different men, one of these forces is generally predominant. The characteristic of one man is inactivity, dullness and laziness; that of another, activity, power, manifestation of energy; and in still another we find the sweetness, calmness and gentleness, which are due to the balancing of both action and inaction. So in all creation—in animals, plants and men—we find the more or less typical manifestation of all these different forces.

Karma-Yoga has specially to deal with these three factors. By teaching what they are and how to employ them it helps us to do our work better. Human society is a graded organization. We all know about morality, and we all know about duty, but at the same time we find that in different countries the significance of morality varies greatly. What is regarded as moral in one country may in another be considered perfectly immoral. For instance, in one country cousins may marry; in another, it is thought to be very immoral; in one, men may marry.

The life of every individual, according to the Hindu scriptures, has its peculiar duties apart from what belongs in common to universal humanity. The Hindu begins life as a student; then he marries and becomes a householder; in old age he retires, and lastly he gives up the world and becomes a Sannyâsin. To each of these stages of life certain duties are attached. No one of these stages is intrinsically superior to another; the life of the married man is quite as great as that of the celibate who has devoted himself to religious work. The scavenger in the street is quite as great and glorious as the king on his throne. Take him off his throne, make him do the work of the scavenger, and see how he fares. Take up the scavenger and see how he will rule. It is useless to say that the man who lives out of the world is a greater man than he who lives in the world; it is much more difficult to live in the world and worship God than to give it up and live a free and easy life. The four stages of life in India have in later times been reduced to two,—that of the householder and of the monk. The householder marries and carries on his duties as a citizen, and the duty of the other is to devote his energies wholly to religion, to preach and to worship God. I shall read to you a few passages from the Mahâ-Nirvâna-Tantra, which treats of this subject and you will see that it is a very difficult task for a man to be a householder, and perform all his duties perfectly.

The householder should be devoted to God; the knowledge of God should be his goal of life. Yet he must work constantly, perform all his duties; he must give up the fruits of his actions to God.

It is the most difficult thing in this world, to work and not care for the result, to help a man and never think that he ought to be grateful, to do some good work and at the same time never look to see whether it brings you nameor fame, or nothing at all. Even the most arrant coward becomes brave when the world praises him. A fool can do heroic deeds when the approbation of society is upon him, but for a man to constantly do good without caring for the approbation of his fellow-men is indeed the highest sacrifice man can perform. The great duty of the householder is to earn a living, but he must take care that he does not do it by telling lies, or by cheating, or by robbing others; and he must remember that his life is for the service of God, and the poor.Knowing that mother and father are the visible representatives of God, the householder, always and by all means, must please them. If the mother is pleased, and the father, God is pleased with that man. That child is really a good child who never speaks harsh words to his parents.

Before parents one must not utter jokes, must not show restlessness, must not show anger or temper. Before mother or father, a child must bow down low, and stand up in their presence, and must not take a seat until they order him to sit.

If the householder has food and drink and clothes without first seeing that his mother and his father, his children, his wife, and the poor, are supplied, he is committing a sin. The mother and the father are the causes of this body, so a man must undergo a thousand troubles in order to do good to them.

Even so is his duty to his wife; no man should scold his wife, and he must always maintain her as if she were his own mother. And even when he is in the greatest difficulties and troubles, he must not show anger to his wife.

He who thinks of another woman besides his wife, if he touches her even with his mind—that man goes to dark hell.

Before women he must not talk improper language,and never brag of his powers. He must not say, 'I have-done this, and I have done that.'The householder must always please his wife with money, clothes, love, faith, and words like nectar, and never do anything to disturb her. That man who has. succeeded in getting the love of a chaste wife has succeded in his religion and has all the virtues.

wisdom of obscurity.

What you want to compress 
you must first allow truly expanding. 
What you want to weaken 
you must first allow growing truly strong. 
What you want to destroy 
you must first allow truly to truly flourishing. 
From whomever you want to take away 
to him you must first truly give. 
This is called ‘being clear about the invisible’. 
The soft wins victory over the hard. 
The weak wins victory over the strong. 
One must not take the fish from the deep. 
One must not show the people 
the means of furthering the realm. 

If you want to shrink something, 
you must first allow it to expand. 
If you want to get rid of something, 
you must first allow it to flourish. 
If you want to take something, 
you must first allow it to be given. 
This is called subtle perception 
of the way things are. 

The soft overcomes the hard. 
The slow overcomes the fast. 
Let your workings remain a mystery. 
Just show peoples the results. 

Should you want to contain something, 
you must deliberately let it expand. 
Should you want to weaken something, 
you must deliberately let it grow strong. 
Should you want to eliminate something, 
you must deliberately allow it to flourish. 
Should you want to take something away, 
you must deliberately grant it access. 

The lesson here is called 
the wisdom of obscurity. 
The gentle outlasts the strong. 
The obscure outlasts the obvious. 

Fish cannot leave deep waters, 
and a country’s weapons should not be displayed. 

What is over expanded becomes diminished. 
What is too strong becomes weakened. 
What is too high is cut down. 
What is over possessed becomes impoverished. 
It is in the nature of process that in the final stages, 
those who are overextended, 
over armed and over privileged 
shall be overcome. 

Disaster stalks the fish 
which swims up from its deep water home, 
and the army which threatens to conquer 
those beyond its own borders. 

You can count on me 'cause I can count on you

If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea
I'll sail the world to find you
If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see
I'll be the light to guide you

Find out what we're made of
What we are called to help our friends in need

You can count on me like one, two, three
I'll be there and I know when I need it
I can count on you like four, three, two
And you'll be there 'cause that's what friends
Are supposed to do, oh yeah, ooh, ooh

If you toss and you turn and you just can't fall asleep
I'll sing a song beside you
And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me
Everyday I will remind you

Find out what we're made of
What we are called to help our friends in need

You can count on me like one, two, three
I'll be there and I know when I need it
I can count on you like four, three, two
And you'll be there 'cause that's what friends
Are supposed to do, oh yeah, ooh, ooh, yeah, yeah

You'll always have my shoulder when you cry
I'll never let go, never say goodbye

You can count on me like one, two, three
I'll be there and I know when I need it
I can count on you like four, three, two
And you'll be there 'cause that's what friends
Are supposed to do, oh yeah, ooh, ooh

You can count on me 'cause I can count on you

If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea
I'll sail the world to find you
If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see
I'll be the light to guide you

Find out what we're made of
What we are called to help our friends in need

You can count on me like one, two, three
I'll be there and I know when I need it
I can count on you like four, three, two
And you'll be there 'cause that's what friends
Are supposed to do, oh yeah, ooh, ooh

If you toss and you turn and you just can't fall asleep
I'll sing a song beside you
And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me
Everyday I will remind you

Find out what we're made of
What we are called to help our friends in need

You can count on me like one, two, three
I'll be there and I know when I need it
I can count on you like four, three, two
And you'll be there 'cause that's what friends
Are supposed to do, oh yeah, ooh, ooh, yeah, yeah

You'll always have my shoulder when you cry
I'll never let go, never say goodbye

You can count on me like one, two, three
I'll be there and I know when I need it
I can count on you like four, three, two
And you'll be there 'cause that's what friends
Are supposed to do, oh yeah, ooh, ooh

You can count on me 'cause I can count on you

EXPECTATIONS

EXPECTATIONS

The one thing that shatters relationships and ruins friendships more than any other is expectations. When we say that someone is not meeting our ‘needs’, we usually mean that he is not living up to our expectations. True needs are very few, but expectations are limitless.

When a person’s behavior does not match your expectations, you can try to change their behavior, or you could let go of your expectations. The first is an exercise in frustration and causes untold damage to relationships. The second is also difficult, but possible and worthwhile. Learn to let go.

1. Identify faulty assumptions

For some reason, when we get close to a person, we start to demand that this person acts in a certain way. We reason that “if you loved me, you would…” This type of reasoning is based on two faulty assumptions:

a. That love can be defined in a certain way
b. That the other person agrees with this definition

Neither assumption is reasonable, nor once you accept that your way of thinking is not the only right way, will you find it easy to reject the assumption and therefore adjust or even completely drop your expectations.

2. Seek to understand

People show love in different ways, as explained by Gary Chapman in his excellent book “The Five Love Languages”: words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, gifts, and physical touch. Someone else may speak a love language that you do not understand because your love language is different.

When you travel to another country that speaks a different language from yours, the locals may not understand what you are trying to say to them. In the same way, when someone tries to love you in their own way, it is you who may not understand. This does not mean that they are not trying. It is not their actions that you need to change, it is your understanding.

3. Observe carefully

When you stop expecting certain behavior from others, you free yourself to see more clearly. You will start to observe what they actually do, instead of constantly seeing the gap between what they do and what you want them to do.

For example, if you expect your child to obey your instructions quietly and he starts to question you, you may get upset because he doesn’t meet your expectation of what a ‘good boy’ is. If you drop this expectation and listen to his questions instead, you may pick up on a specific fear he has which is causing him to resist your instruction. When you see more clearly, you can respond more effectively.

4. Recognized the consequences

You would probably be upset if somebody loved you only when you behaved a certain way. Children who grow up with this kind of conditional love become insecure adults who try too hard to please. Spouses who feel they are not good enough for their partners may seek acceptance in somebody else’s arms.

Relationships are not transactions. If you’re in a relationship because of what you get out of it, it is a transaction. We all have needs that have to met, but it is futile to expect the other person to meet these needs. It is easy to let go of expectations once we accept responsibility to meet our needs ourselves, and are in a relationship not for what we can get but for who we can be.

5. Ask for agreement

If an expectation you have is important because it touches on non-negotiable values or morality, seek to convert that expectation into an agreement. Agreements are not expectations. Expectations exist in your own mind, often without the knowledge of the other person. Agreements are explicit verbal commitments by both parties on a set of acceptable and unacceptable behaviors.

Decide on what is non-negotiable to you. Highlight these to the other person and explain why it is so important. I’ve found that calm discussions work much better in this case than yelling matches. Be very specific about the behaviors you expect and ask if the other party agrees. Be prepared to return the favour. Once both have agreed, honor the ground rules.

If you cannot convert a non-negotiable expectation to an agreement, you’ll have to make a tough choice. You have to decide whether to let go of the expectation or the person. Personally I think that a flesh-and-blood person is almost always more worth holding on to than an expectation that exists only in my mind.

Let go of your expectations. I’m still working on this myself, but the few times I have managed to let go have been truly liberating. With one simple change of thinking, you free two people at one time. The other person is free from having to behave in a certain way, and you are free to love better. Letting go is hard, but definitely worth it.

Why Is There A Generation Gap Between Parents And Children?

Why Is There A Generation Gap Between Parents And Children?

Generation gap is the major reason today why parents and children are moving away from each other. As we all know, the environment has changed, so has the life style and with that changes the mind of children. Today's generation doesn't like others interfering in any of their personal matters, they don't like parents ordering them, and if they try and tell them what's wrong for them, they misbehave with their parents. The question arises that, what is the reason behind all this. It is the parents' mistake or is it cause of the generation gap. Generation gap is basically created by the people themselves. They don't talk to their children and share their own points of views with the children.

The point is that the parents are just so busy with their work and jobs that they don't have time for their family and their children. And they realize it when there has a huge distance between the kids and the parents.

                     The point is if parents give their children some time from their busy schedule then there would be no such problem. At times you need to act as a friend to your children in order understands them more nicely. 

Why Is There A Generation Gap Between Parents And Children?

Generation gap is the major reason today why parents and children are moving away from each other. As we all know, the environment has changed, so has the life style and with that changes the mind of children. Today's generation doesn't like others interfering in any of their personal matters, they don't like parents ordering them, and if they try and tell them what's wrong for them, they misbehave with their parents. The question arises that, what is the reason behind all this. It is the parents' mistake or is it cause of the generation gap.

Generation gap is basically created by the people themselves. They don't talk to their children and share their own points of views with the children. The point is that the parents are just so busy with their work and jobs that they don't have time for their family and their children. And they realize it when there has a huge distance between the kids and the parents. The point is if parents give their children some time from their busy schedule then there would be no such problem. At times you need to act as a friend to your children in order understands them more nicely. 

Well this is commonly sought question these days because this is a problem faced by people of every part of globe.

Basically the recent developments in technology have accelerated overall development in every field and with very short time things which seemed to be considered impossible are now the usual things.

Our parents lived in a bit slower society and they adjusted to that as well but now the pace has increased considerably but they have same patterns what they used to have.
The things which were considered luxuries at some time are now needs of today.
People who are already adjusted to a particular lifestyle find it very difficult to adjust to new trends and requirements.

The new generation is learning and adopting fast to the needs of the fast growing society which is sometimes a concern for elders.

Their work patterns, jobs enjoyment and every other living pattern are very different.

I believe the new trends are hard for them to adjust and we the present generation find it hard to make them understand.

People have less time now are no time to relax upon things and work patterns are very quick.

On the other side our elders are more of slow decision takers.

I would suggest parents are more in commanding position and they should try to get acquainted to new trends if not then at least try to understand their children needs and remove age or parent children relation ship and give space without getting out the respect factor.

Understanding parents can always help a lot and it’s very easy for an elder to initiate than a younger one.

Things change by the passage of time and in the same way requirements of life also change during that duration. It is not necessary that people like those things, which their parents used to like 20 or 30 years back. In the same way trends, behaviors, fashions, attitudes, liking and disliking also change by the passage of time. So far your question that why there is a generation gap between parents and children can be narrated in the following terms. As I told you above that things change by the passage of time and in the same way demand and requirements of life also change. People have to adopt those things, which are currently required by the people and they are bound to adopt those requirements. Sometimes parents feel ill on the habits, attitudes and behaviors of their children but they don't realize the current requirements of their children. They go on giving examples of the past and irritate their children for nothing.

I think parents should only guide children properly and let them enjoy their present. By these conflicts, which take place between parents and children, it is said there is a generation gap. Dissimilarity stuck between the opinions and views of young people and their parents can be termed as a generation gap.

The reason of generation gap is the dissimilar scale of priorities of both these generations. Parents talk on the basis of all those experiences that are results of the events and dealings they had faced in their lives while kids argue according to their surroundings and fantasies. 

When kids and parents are unable to make them agree with each other then this situation leads them to the state of disappointment. As a result of this situation kids avoid to talk to their parents and parents quench that their kids do not listen to them. Kids do not consider their parents in any matter and parents in certain situations leave their kids with their own good and bad while some situations lead both the parents and kids to the states of frustration and aggravation. 

The problem of generation gap is getting a value as a very serious issue for both the children and parents. This situation does not only make suffer these two parties but it affects the surroundings as well. In order to cope with this problem parents must think in a sharp and tactful manner because the kids are blameless and they do not adopt the things forcefully in a happy and satisfied manner.